The Nine tails of a Demon Hunter
by Malevolent Procrastination
Summary: After the defeat of his brother, Dante is left without a job. The opening of the Gate to hell unleashes portals upon the Human Realm. One pulls him into a new world. A world where a young blond is considered a demon. How will Dante fare? DMCNarutoXover
1. Just a bunch of Freaks

**The Nines Tails of a Demon Hunter**

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I've found that all of the stories that have been naruto/DMC Xovers have been idiotic. Naruto is running for his life. he gets saved by Dante. Get's taken by him. TImeskip and he comes back years later, damn near invincible. Well, I thought, I can't critisize unless I have a story of my own, so here it is. I hope it's better than all that other garbage out there. By the way. This happens a few weeks after DMC 3, but before the first one. I'm gonna try to keep everyone in character as mush as possible, but let me know of where I need to change things to make them better and in character. Well, that's about it. Now, let me know how you like it, and enjoy.

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Legend:

"Speech"

_'Thoughts'_

**"Demons speaking"**

**_'Demons thinking'_**

_"Flashback speech"_

'Flachback thoughts'

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Disclaimer: I do not own naruto, nor do I own Devil May Cry, Devil May Cry 2, or Devil may Cry 3: Dante's Awakening. If I did, this wouldn't be a Fan Fiction, because I wouldn't be fan, although it would still be fiction.

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As Team 7 was packing up their equipment from their site, Naruto started thinking about the events that occurred the prior day. For some odd reason he had this feeling in the pit of his stomach that just had him worried. He couldn't seem to shake iot and thought that maybe it had to do something with what had happened in the past few weeks.

_Flashback_

"_Thanks to you, we finished the bridge, but…" stated Tazuna, "This is super sad."_

"_Thanks for everything." Was all the silver haired Jounin said._

_The blond followed with, "Don't worry! We'll come visit!"_

_A small boy started tearing up while his grandfather started to pat his head. "You…" was all he managed to get out._

"_Ergh…" was the blond's response to seeing the boy tear up in front of him. "It's alright to cry! Inari… You're sad, right?"_

"_I'm not going to cry!! But Naruto, you can cry too!!" The boy replied with tears in his eyes._

"_Fine… Later…" Naruto said while turning around. Tears covered his face and snot was running down his chin._

"Geez. They're like twins!"_ The pink haired kunoichi thought as she saw that both Naruto and Inari had the same expressions on their faces._

_End Flashback_

Naruto started wondering how the young boy was doing. It had only been a day, but the ninja had covered significant ground and only had, at most, two days travel until they would reach Konoha. The Hidden Leaf Village of the Fire Country.

"Hey, tobe." The dark haired Genin said, "Hurry up or we're leaving without you."

"Gomen. I got caught up in the moment."

"What moment? It's not like there's anything going on…"

"I meant about yesterday. I was just wondering how Inari was doing."

"Well," interrupted Sakura, "Seeing as how you two act so alike, I think it's safe to say he's doing fine right now."

"Yeah. I guess so. I still can't shake this feeling that something bad's gonna happen. Something that just doesn't feel right." By this time Team 7 was back on the road to Konoha. Kakashi had seemed unusually quiet through the entire conversation. "Oi, Kakashi-sensei, is something the matter?" Naruto said before sweat-dropping when he saw that a certain silver-haired Jounin had his attention fixed onto a certain orange colored book.

"Sorry Naruto. Did you say something?" Replyed Kakashi, just barely taking his attention off of his book long enough to look at Naruto.

"Never mind." Naruto, brooding over his bad feeling. As the day went on though, he began to slowly forget it, however, a few hours after noon had past, Naruto felt the feeling come back, with a vengeance. A second later, it was gone, but not without leaving Naruto feeling a little shaken. Other than that the four man cell of ninja had another uneventful day as they continued to their home village, eventually stopping in an area that was fairly nondescript. The usual trees and bushes surrounded the area, and the group started a fire before eating dinner and going to bed, with one person taking guard duty over the night, before waking one member another of the team to take over. Overall, just another day in the life of a ninja. And probably the last one that this team will be having.

**XX**XXXXXXXX**XX**XXXXXXXX**XX**

A white-haired young man sat at his desk, with his feet propped up and leaning back. He had a tight black undershirt on, and dark red pants that were tucked into black combat boots. He hands had fingerless gloves on and his eyes were an unnatural shade of Green. They seemed, almost demonic, in a rebellious sort of way. Sine he had stopped his twin Brother Virgil from acquiring their father's power through the use of the demonic tower Temi-Ni-Gru, his business had started to decline. There were fewer and fewer portals that appeared from the Demonic Realm, or Hell as it is also known, to allow any real amount of Demons to cross into the Human Realm. Although, the number of missing people sky rocketed. Dante blamed it on the fact that opening the gate to Hell from Temi-Ni-Gru might have disrupted the space around it, and portals to other realms were popping up all over, taking people who just happened to be to close to them into where ever they went. So people started moving and Dante was left with a business that had few costumers, for there was little need for his profession. And just what is his business, you might ask? Well, he's a professional Demon Hunter. Somewhat of an irony, really, seeing as how he himself is the son of the most powerful Demon to ever walk the land, Hell or otherwise. So he sat. And wait. And wait. And guess what? Waited some more. Finally his impatience got the better of him.

"Dammit!" Slamming his fist into the desk, leaving good sized dent in it. "There's nothing to do! Lady's gone. Demons hardly show up, and the damn swords are sleeping! I can't believe I would actually rather talk to those damned swords than sit here!"

At this, two voices appreared behind him. **"Yes master?" **said the Red sword.

**"You called for us?" **Followed the Blue.

"Hell no!" He shouted, getting up. He walked over to his drum set while yelling at the swords. "I'm just bored outta my fucking mind! I've wiped out the demons. My brother's in Hell, portals keep popping out of nowhere, driving away my costumers, I'm poor, and my pizza is ten minutes late!"

**"I recommend that you calm down, pup."** Dante learned a few days after the destruction of the giant tower, that his Devil Arms, being the spirits of the most powerful demons he had defeated, could still communicate with him. Though he was the only one able to hear them, it wasn't telepathic. More like a pitch that only he as a half-demon could pick up. And he also didn't like the fact that a giant three headed dog of ice that was in the shape of a triple nunchaku was telling him to calm down.

"Calm down?! I'm pissed! And I'm hungry! Dammit! I swear, if someone doesn't call with a job in the next ten minutes, I'm gonna go ballistic. And all of you are gonna be feeling it in the morning."

**"As much as we would love joining you, we simply do not share your view on this."** Cerberus, the Ice Demon stated.

**"Yes. The cold one is correct. We have sat for many eons. We know the importance of patience."** Stated Agni, the red sword.

**"Correct brother. We had sat for a long time, searching for the one that could control us."** Replied Rudra, the blue sword from earlier.

"Yeah, yeah. I remember. Sitting in that chamber, refusing to let me pass. And still as annoying as hell as from back then." He said, while picking up the twin swords and slamming their heads together.

**"Hmmm. Well honey. I feel something coming around that just might brighten up your day."** The demon of Seduction said. Dante walked over and picked up the guitar before saying to it, "God, I hope so, or I'll have to treat you nicely." He had an evil grin on his face while saying this. Mere moments after saying this, the building began to shake.

"Oh, not again. Wait. If it's a party, well then, I've been waiting for something like this to happen." Checking out the windows he saw that the world was in a water like state. Like a very powerful mirage that was surrounding the building. "What the hells going on?"

**"Well, honey. It looks like there's a portal opening up around the building,"**

"Oh shit…" Was all Dante got out before the rumbling stopped. "Well ain't that anticlimactic." Walking to the doors, he pulled them open and gazed outside. Into a forest of trees. "Damn. That's a shitload of trees. Haven't seen that many trees in a long time." Looking around he noticed that all there was just trees. And more trees. And more fucking trees. "Well ain't that a bitch. Nothing around here. And no demons. Well, that was a load of shit…"

**"Brother. I sense a disturbance in. The Force."**

**"Brother. What is The Force?"**

**"I believe it is something from a movie that master Dante saw not too long ago. It was humorous."**

"Shut up. I need to find a way outta here." Dante yelled to the two bickering swords while walking over and collecting his various weapons. He strapped his trademark sword, The Rebellion, onto his back, which was over his Blood Red trenchcoat. He picked up his father's sword, Force Edge, and put it into a large rucksack. He then walked over to his desk and picked up his two custom made pistols, Ebony and Ivory and put them into their holsters on his lower back. He still wore his gauntlets and leg guards, the weapon form of Beowulf, though they were in their dormant state, meaning that they were there, yet not there. Artemis, his demonic arm-mounted gun, was also in a similar state of dormancy. Agni and Rudra were next into the bag, with Nevan being strapped to his back, like the giant guitar that she is. Cerberus went into the rucksack with the other Devil Arms. He next put his shotgun and sniper rifle, named Spiral, into the sack.

"Well. That's all of them. Did I forget anyone?"

**"No, master."**

**"Correct brother. There is no one left behind."**

"You know, you two should still be quiet. Just cuz we're outta the tower, that doesn't mean that you can go back to talking."

**"Sorry master,"**

**"Yes. We apologize."**

"Geez, you guys never shut up." Dante started to haul the rucksack up to his shoulder before remembering something. Walking over to the counted, he picked up the photo of his mother that had fallen over in the time that the building was moving. He carefully packed the photo in one of the side pockets before reaching into one of the drawers and pulling out his pendant. Placing the pendant around his neck he started to walk outside. At the doors he turned around and pulled them shut before putting a fairly large lock on them. "There. Now no one but me will get in here."

**"Not that anyone would want to go in there. The only thing in there is pizza boxes, an old jukebox, and a drum set."** The three-headed dog stated, slightly muffled by the rucksack.

"Never know. People are weird." Dante started to walk in the opposite direction of his store.

A couple hours of walking later, he walked into a road. It was a gravel path, and seemed to only be used for traveling on foot. Quickly deciding, he started to walk to the right. A few minutes later, he could make out what seemed to be a few people. _'Finally. I thought I had got taken to some deserted forest out in the middle of nowhere.'_ A short while later he starts to see details about the people. 'Three kids and one adult. Hmmm.' He turns his attention to the one smiling like he had just heard the best joke in the world. He had a shock of blond hair, the color of the sun. His eyes were a shade of deep yet happy light blue. They seemed to be holding pain unlike anyone has suffered, yet his face said otherwise. His grin was somewhat fox-like and the 3 whisker-like amrks on the side of his face only accentuated the look. He wore an orange jacket with matching orange Pants that just screamed "I'm here! Come kill me!" and that had a pouch attached to his right thigh, within arms reach. He had on open-toed blue sandals that seemed to have been through a lot of wear and tear. _'Heh. Cute kid, if slightly goofy looking.'_ His shifted his attention to the boy next to him. He had dark blue hair that seemed to stick back and into the air not too nlike a human cockatoo. He seemed to be brooding over something and his dark blue eyes helped the look of gloom he had on his face. He wore a midnight blue shirt on with white shorts that went down to his knees. He too had a pouch attached to his right thigh, though he also had wraps around his leg that went from his knee to his ankles. His shoes were similar to the blonds, though they seemed to be higher quality. _'Huh. Kid looks like some emo cockatoo.'_ His attention then shifted to the only female of the three. She had shockingly bright pink hair the color of bubble gum. Her face was somewhat plain, though her eyes were a bright green color, and she seemd to have a fairly large forehead. She wore a short pink dress that went halfway down her thighs, where it split to the sides to reveal that she had shorts on under. She, like the two boys, wore a pouch on her thigh, and sandals that were similar to the boys. _'Damn. Pink hair. Green eyes. She must have had some weird parents.'_ Looking to the adult of the group, he saw that he had light gray hair that seemed to stick out and to the side, somewhat like a scarecrow. He wore a vest over a full body suit that also had a mask that covered his face. His hands had gloves that had metal plates on the back.The bottom half of the body suit went down to half of his calves. He too, wore sandals that were open toed and a pouch on his thigh. _'Damn. The guy looks like a living scarecrow.'_ Another thing all four of them shared was a piece of that had a metal plate stitched into it, with a kinda swirling symbol. The two boys wore theirs on their foreheads, the girl wore hers on her head, as if to hold back her hair, and the man had his on his forehead, although it was slanted to cover his left eye. _'All in all, just a regular bunch of freaks.'_ He saw that the man had spotted him though, because he seemed to follow his movements and had his hand near the pouch on his thigh, as if to be ready to quick-draw, and kill him. 'Well, better go see if these guys can held me out, maybe I can find out just where the hell I am.'

**XX**XXXXXXXX**XX**XXXXXXXX**XX**

"Kakashi-sensei. Who is that man?" Sakura said to her Jounin instructor, referring to the man that was heading to them. He had long, white hair that was down to his chin. It framed his face and accentuated his white complexion. He had inhuman green eyes that seemed to be examining them. He wore a black shirt that extended to his wrists, though they were rolled up to half-way between his wrist and elbow. He had a trenchcoat the color of blood on top of that, with a sword and an odd shaped purple thing on his back. He had on pants the same shade of red on and fingerless gloves without knuckles covering his hands. His feet were protected by fairly large boots that his pants were tucked into. He also had a rucksack hanging onto his left shoulder, and it seemed to be fairly empty for such a large sack.

"I don't know Sakura. But be prepared to fight. We don't know if he's out to kill us, but he doesn't to have a Hitai-ate, but you never can be too careful." A few minutes later, they had met up with the stranger.

**XX**XXXXXXXX**XX**XXXXXXXX**XX**

"Hey! Can you guys tell me where I am?" The group looked at him, puzzled. "You know. This place where we are. Or maybe, you know, where this places goes."

_"Nani?"_ was his only response,

"Don't you guys speak any English?" He received a reply that sounded Asian to him. _'Dammit. I'm in freakin' China. How the hell am I supposed to cummincate?'_

**"Pup. I can assist."**

"What the hell do you mean? You're a three-headed demon dog. How do you speak Chinese?"

**"It's Japanese. And I speak it because we, as demons, must know that language of those we conquer. Did you believe English was all we spoke? We have to be able to conquer all those who we render our slaves."**

"Well then, if that's true, and we got here through some prtal, how do they still speak the same language as on Earth?"

**"They are Human, are they not? But that's is something that is fairly complicated and we have no time now. I shall assist you with the task at hand."** Cerberus then translated that they were asking what he had said. He then told Dante the correct things to say, which he repeated to the group. They were fairly surprised that he had suddenly learned their language, though it was filled with mistakes and mispronunciations. After introducing himself as Dante, he asked where they were, and which direction they were headed. They replied and Cerberus translated.

**"We are currently in the forest of the Fire Country, and they are headed to their home village. They refuse to give up the name, though the will allow you to travel with them on one condition."**

"What's that?"

**"That you are handcuffed and stay within sight at all times."**

"Tch. Guess I have no choice. I'll agree." After responding to the 4 of them, they bound his hands together behind his back, and started to walk in the opposite direction that Dante had come from. '_Well, today just keeps getting better and better'_ he thought as the children behind him were chatting with each other as he followed the gray haired man in front of him.

**XX**XXXXXXXX**XX**XXXXXXXX**XX**

"What village do you think he's from?' asked the blond boy.

"I don't know. He's not from Fire Country, seeing as how he got lost. And he spoke in an odd sorta way. Kinda like he had to figure how to talk to us." Replied the kunoichi. "He sure seems odd though. And he'll need to be interrogated when we get back."

"Hmph. If we get back. With him here, we'll have to slow down. A lot." The dark haired boy said, giving his opinion.

"It can't be helped. If he is an enemy ninja, the interregation team will find out. And if he's a civilian, then it's our job to help however possible."

"I wonder how strong he is. Or if he likes ramen. I hope he does."

"Baka! That's all you think about. Food and training. No wonder you have no friends other than us."

The rest of the day went on fairly uneventfully. Though, with their prisoner in tow it did take them longer to reach their village. Another day later, in fact. The ninja just dismissed it as part of the job.

**XX**XXXXXXXX**XX**XXXXXXXX**XX**

As they neared a village, Dante thought to himself, _'Damn! That's a huge wall. And could those gates get any bigger? Must be some sort of military base. Maybe they have some a pizza restaurant. I'm tired of all this…'_ he thought before everything went black.


	2. The hell is GOING ON

Chapter: 2

Ok guys. I want to apologize for the late posting. I was hoping on having this chapter up on Tuesday, possibly Wednesday if Tuesday wasn't possible, but I had forgotten about Halloween and my family got me caught up in the "Halloween Spirit." So, in short, I couldn't even begin to write my second chapter with all my family had me doing. I will however make up for it, because the next chapter will be extra long. This one is but a tidbit. Something to whet your appetite, something to make you wet with anticipation of the next one. So, enjoy.

(A/N: First ever Interrogation Scene, so if it seems fake, or needs tweaking, don't be shy about it, and leave me a comment on how I can make it better.)

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Disclaimer: I don't own Devil May Cry, Naruto or any other references to shows, anime, manga or games made in this story, aside from the characters of my own creation.

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Slowly, Dante began to come to. Looking around, he saw an old man with some sort of red robe on with a pipe in his mouth, and a huge man that had a bandana on his head, and scars covering his face. He began to realize that he was tied to a chair. His midsection had ropes tying him to his chair, his hands were behind the chair back and tied together, but not to the chair, and for some reason, his legs were left free and untied.

Seeing that his captive was awake, the man with the bandanna ushered the old man out before turning his eyes on Dante. Walking up to him, the man began to speak to him, only to have one word thrown back in his face.

"Huh?"

The man, easily understanding that the man didn't speak his language, sent for someone. Seconds later, the old man walked back in. The two had a quick discussion before walking back over to Dante.

'Damn. What the hell is going on? And why are those two taking so long? I gotta get outta here.' "Oi! Let me outta here!" Remembering that these people didn't speak his language, he proceeded to fill the air with obscenities.

"Quiet down. Don't you know that such language is considered rude in front of the Hokage?"

"Yeah well, you can take your… Wait. You can understand me?"

"Yes. I am called Teh Professor for a reason. I am fluent in most languages. But that is beside the point. We need information from you. Which village are you loyal to? And who hired you?"

"What the hell are talking about old man? I'm not loyal to any village. And no one hired me. I'm here 'cuz of some sort of mistake in the space-time thing."

"So if you hold no allegiance to any village, then are you a missing nin?"

"What the hell is a nin? Is it like a nun? 'Cuz I'm not a freakin' nun. Just the opposite in fact."

"If you will not give me a straight answer, then you will leave me with few choices. This man here, his name is Ibiki. He is an Interrogation Specialist for the village of Konoha. If you will not give me answers, then this man just get them from you, forcefully."

"Hah! I'd like to see him try."

"Very well." Walking over to the large man, he gave him the go ahead to begin the torture. A smile grew of his face that seemed out of place, and filled with some sort of sadistic happiness. Walking over to the wall, he pulled a large, screw-like piece of equipment and strapped it to his arm. He pushed a button and the screw began to spin.

'Oh shit.' Was all Dante was able to think before the screw plunged into his stomach. Burrowing about an inch in, Ibiki pulled it out. 'Well, that was anti-climactic.' Suddenly, Dante felt the pain hit him like a tidal wave. Waves of nausea hit him unlike ever before. Despite having been shot in the head, swords go into his body and out the otherside, and never having a scratch on him afterwards, or any sign of pain, he had never had to deal with a screw before. Everything else just went in, then came out, never going in, then slowing making the wound larger and larger. His rapid healing didn't have a chance. The spinning stopped his tissue from closing and his body couldn't put out enough of it's natural painkillers from saving him. 'How the hell does he know about this? Not even I knew I could be hurt! Who is this man!?' Ibiki slowly pushed the screw back into his stomach, but unlike before, he maneuvered slowly. Pushing the screw in inch by agonizing inch. About 5 inches into his stomach, he pulled the screw back. Dante had been left with a gaping hole in his stomach that was about 6 inches across. He could feel his blood pouring out and felt death for the first time in his life. Ibiki still had that grin on his face. He was just warming up. Walking over to the wall, he pulled a vial off of a shelf. He opened the vial an poured the liquid onto Dante's wound.

"FUCK!!!" This pain was nearly unbearable. It was as though he had suddenly had alcohol poured onto his wound, which was exactly what had happened. But then, the pain was gone. He could feel his flesh mending and healing itself. Within seconds, all traces of the hole in his stomach had disappeared, leaving only a hole in his shirt, where the screw had drilled through. 'The hell is GOING ON?!?!' He watched as his captive took a knife from his pouch on his thigh. This was no ordinary knife though. It was about 6 inches long, thin and yet the blade was made so that is was serrated, with 10 very large protrusions. Ibiki slammed the knife into Dante's thigh, before grabbing onto the handle and turning the knife. He did this dozens of times, all the time enjoying Dante's scream of pain. Dante then realized the reason his legs weren't tied together. That sadistic son of a bitch enjoyed watching his captives kick and squirm in pain. For another hour or so, Ibiki followed the same routine. He put Dante through some sort of excruciatingly painful torture before using that alcohol from hell that caused all the pain that one would feel while healing into the span of a few seconds, all while bringing the person back to near perfect health, before putting Dante into more pain. Finally, after 2 more hours of this Hell on Earth, Dante gave in. Feeling that he could no longer keep his consciousness, he let himself drift into unconsciousness and away from the pain.

**XXxx**XX**xxXXxx**XX**xxXX**

Standing in front of a one-way mirror, the 3rd Hokage watched the torture ot the foreigner, while barely able to keep his stomach. How Ibiki managed to do this everyday, with that smile on his and face, and still sleep soundly at night, the member of the Sarutobi clan had no idea. Shuddering at the realization that he probably would have nightmares that night, he looked up to see that their captive had passed out. Walking into the room, he asked if Ibiki had learned anything.

"Yes. He is very strong. Both physically and mentally."

"How can you tell?"

"His yells never rose above a certain pitch, and he never kicked or squirmed. He also never seemed to give in. Either is too loyal to give up any information, or he really knows nothing as you have said. Though, the way he kept himself in check, I think that it is the latter. He seemed to do it as if he didn't want to me to receive any satisfaction. And I dare say, he did a damn good job of it."

"So then, you believe that he is not dangerous?"  
"Oh, he's dangerous. Any man that can take that much and still be sane is dangerous. But he doesn't seem to be out to kill us. At least, he didn't. After this little incident, I doubt that he will trust us anytime soon." He said while pulling the last of the kunai that he had embedded into Dante's body.

"So what do you propose we do?"  
"Move him into the hospital and let them take care of his injuries. They've been a little lazy recently and haven't had many patients with this much damage done to them in a while."

"Good idea. Get the medics to take him to the hospital. And be sure to have his weapons kept safely secured. We still need to question him on them."

"Very well."

"I shall take my leave now. I must purge the images from my mind."

"Hahaha… I've always found that a couple of bottles of sake would clear my mind when I first started this business of mine." At this point, the medics had pulled Dante out of the wooden chair and put him on a stretcher and were wheeling him over to the hospital, which was conveniently located right next door.

"I think that is a good idea. Take care, and be sure to hold back a little on your next 'patient.' I'd hate to be on the receiving end of that screw of yours." The Hokage said while walking towards the door. Opening the door, he said to Ibiki, "Few men can do what you do, my friend, and still sleep soundly at night. Even in the world of shinobi, the sight of gore, the smell of blood, the chill of death. We are still human and feel that such atrocities cannot and should not exist, yet I know that this was for a just cause. Once more, I thank you for… the Gorefest, I believe you would call it. Without, we might have all been dead right now. Once more, thank you.

"Hehehe. It was my pleasure, and I thank you for bringing such a strong man. He would make a strong ninja, should we convert him."

"Yes, he would. But first he must rest. And it appears that your next specimen is here," The Hokage said, motioning to the beat up missing nin being brought in. "I shall leave you to your work." He said, while quickly leaving, hoping to get out as fast as possible from that room. The room that looked like a hospital room. An operating table in the middle and a wooden chair were all the furniture and a wall of shelves held multiple pieces of equipment for torture. The man who used to be called "Monkey" never had any sort of like of hospitals, especially not that one. Walking back to his office, he began to think of ways of convincing the man to join their village. If he was as strong as the Interrogation Specialist said he was, then he would be a valuable asset for the Village Hidden in the Leaves.


	3. WHERE THE HELL IS MY STUFF

Chapter 3

Yay! Onwards! Also. There will be a POV change to third person omniscient. Keeping everything in first person will disrupt the story for later on, so the story will shift to third person omniscient. It will make understanding the story a lot easier. And. I know that I said that the chapter would be really long, however, a transition will be necessary, or else the story would sound weird. So. Two chapters! The next one will come out later today.

(A/N) I editted a few things. If you recieved a notification that I updated, it was just me editting the story a tad bit. Sorry about that people.

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Disclaimer: I do not own Devil May Cry, Naruto or any references of any other movies, games, shows, anime, manga, music lyrics, or snippets of Afghanistanimation, except for those characters of my own creation.

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'Damn. What the hell happened to my head?' Dante thought groggily. Sitting up unleashed another wave of pain into his already really bad headache. 'I've never had hangovers this bad. Shit, I've never had a hangover anyway.' Opening his eyes, he saw that he was in a hospital. 'Oh shit. I remember now. I was at the gates. Maybe I passed out from lack of food. Damn pizza guy.' Looking around he saw that he was only one in the room. To the left of his bed, there was a button that said, "Ring for assistance." He pushed the button. 

"Konichiwa." Said the young lady who walked in a few minutes later. Upon seeing Dante, she instantly became a fangirl. When Dante started top stand up, her began to start bleeding.

'Whoa. I hope she's ok.'

By then, Dante had completely stood up, and the nurse had a fountain of blood coming from her nose. She promptly passed out from lack of blood. The Hokage walked in laughing.

"Well well. Looks like you are a ladies man."

"Where the hell am I?" Dante asked.

"In a hospital."

"No shit." Dante replied, spinning in a circle with his arms outstrestched, as if to show that he had already figured that out. "Why the hell am I here."

'Here it comes. Better tell him the truth.' "You passed out while,"

"I knew it!" Dante yelled, interrupting the Hokage. "But why are you here? You don't look like a docter."

The Hokage was shocked that the man who had white hair, wasn't at all angered at what happened last night. "Wait. What do you remember?"  
"I remember being at those gates, before everything went black, and I woke up here. And you didn't answer my question."

'This man must have lost some memory. This makes things much easier. But we have to be prepared for if he remembers.' "As a guest to our village, I am going out of my way to help you. Um. What was your name?"

"Dante." 'I need to eat.'

'Dante. No clan name. Odd.' "Very well, Dante, there is something I would to talk to you about." He said, shaking Dante's hand.

"Sure. But first, do you have any clothes?"

"I'll get someone to bring some." The man said while walking outside. 'Already! Last minute reprieve. Now I don't have to worry about him going out and killing my and everyone elses family for what we did!' He thought while telling another nurse to bring the belongings of the man in room 3C240 to him.

**XXxx**XXxx**XXxxXX**xxXX**xxXX**

'Kusooo. Where's the old man? I've been waiting here for an hour! And what happened to the white haired guy?' Thought a certain blonde.

**XXxx**XXxx**XXxxXX**xxXX**xxXX**

"Achoo!" Dante sniffed while a nurse walked in with his clothes. He noticed that she looked at the nurse, and seemed a little alarmed, especially with the puddle of blood, but that was wiped off her face when she saw Dante. She closed and locked the door, then walked over to Dante. Dante realized that the old man had put something into his hand. Looking at it, he saw that it was a condom. 'Sneaky old man.' Dant thought with a grin. Bed springs were squeaking that morning in the hospital.

**XXxx**XXxx**XXxxXX**xxXX**xxXX**

Hoakage took care of Naruto fairly rapidly. Apparently, the blonde had been bored and wanted a solo mission. He dismissed him by recommending training, which Naruto took as advice from the greatest sage in the world.

A knock on the door signified that someone wanted to enter. "Enter."

The door swung open, and there stood Dante, with two nurses hanging of his arms. "Hey old man! Thanks. I needed that." Sensing that the two women would hinder his movement, he gave the old man the sign to wait. "Just a sec." He turned around and slowly began to remove his pants. He hadn't even finished unzipping his pants before the two nurses passed out from massive nosebleeds. Zipping up his pants, he walked into the office. Two men with masks popped out of nowhere and disappeared with the women.

Dante closed the door before walking over and sitting in the chair backwards. "So what did you want to talk about?"

The Hokage stood up and walked over to a bookshelf. He picked up a couple Scrolls and tossed them to Dante. "From now on, you have to call me Hokage. And how did you get here? You don't know your way around, do you?"

"The two chicks led me here."

'Ah. Well, I called you here, because you do not speak our language. And we can't have that. It will be too difficult to simply have a translator walk around with you. I can count the amount of people that speak English on one hand including the two of us. Hell. I don't even need a hand if you take the two of us out of the equation."

"So, what you're saying, is that I have to learn a whole new language."

"That's right. I will personally give you lessons. Afterwards, we can discuss your citizenship into our village."

'Damn. I have nowhere to go anyway. Why not? Spartan City was getting pretty boring anyway. And it's not like I don't have…' "WHERE THE HELL IS MY STUFF!?!?!?"

"Your belongings are in a special vault. We an get them back for you once you agree to become a citizen of Konoha."

"Damn. When can I become a citizen?"

"After you have mastered our language."

"Well then. Let's get started."


	4. The Hell is Ninjutsu

Chapter 4

OK. This is Chapter 4. I needed to do a slight time skip, so I just started another chapter for the timeskip. Well. Onwards.

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Disclaimer: I do not own Devil May Cry, Naruto or any references of any other movies, games, shows, anime, manga, music lyrics, or snippets of Afghanistanimation, except for those characters of my own creation.

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It had been about 2 weeks since Dante had first agreed to learn Japanese. Despite his promise to personally teach Dante, the Hokage was a very busy guy, and mostly had Dante read scrolls. It still helped him to learn the language; however, it was extremely slow. Dante had also lived with the Old man in the "Hokage Manor." A large house with eight bedrooms that was made for the Hokage. It had been around since the time of the first Hokage. Now Dante was a fairly impatient guy, and waiting two weeks for something was not is style, but he knew that he had to in order to get his stuff back, so he endured. 15 days after he had agreed, he snapped. 

"Hey old man! I've mastered the language, see?" He yelled in Japanese. "Now can I become a citizen?"

The old man chuckled at this. He acted like a particular blonde that he knew. Loud, brash, and to the point. "Heh. A test first. We'll have you speak with one of the citizens. If you can hold a conversation with them, then you pass and can become a citizen. If not, then back to the scrolls for you." Although, he was surprised that such a person could learn a new language, especially one as complex as Japanese in a little over two weeks. Of course, he had spent all day and night doing that one specific task, testing himself and trying to converse with him over the two weeks.

"Perfect." He said with a grin. "So who's the person?"

**XXxx**XXxx**XXxxXX**xxXX**xxXX**

"Nani?! You want me to talk to him?!"

"Yes, Naruto. Is there a problem?"

"No."

"Then why are you reluctant to talk to him?"

"Because I can't understand anything he says." He said with a pout.

"I don't that think will a problem." Dante said, interrupting their conversation.

"When did you learn to speak Japanese?!"

"Over the past two weeks." Dante said, as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

"That's beside the point. Dante, the test shall consist of you spending the day with Naruto here. At the end of the day, Naruto will tell me how you did with your language skills." Pointing at Naruto he said, "Naruto. I know that last week you had were in the Chuunin Exam, and passed the preliminaries. Think of this as another form of training. You have to be able to communicate with people, even people who cannot speak the same language perfectly as you do. You will have to be able to guide, tech and assist others from foreign nations. Now then you two, get to it. Naruto, I want to see the report on my desk tonight."

"Um. Hokage-sama. I've never written a report."

"Never mind. Just, let me know how he does."

AS Naruto and Dante were walking down the street, Dante began to realize how much he had been cooped up in the house. He hadn't had pizza in over two weeks, and he didn't even know what the town looked like. "Oi. Blondie. Where's the nearest Pizza shop."

"The name's Naruto, you white haired freak. And just what the hell is a Pizza?"

"What do you mean, 'What's a pizza?' Don't' you know that pizza is the greatest food ever made? It's the food of the gods!"

"What are you talking about? Ramen is the food of the gods! There's no such thing as Pizza."

'No Pizza? But. What am I supposed to eat? I mean, Pizza is life. Must have Pizza!' "Fine. Take me to this eat this Ramen." He said dejectedly, as if there was no reason to live.

It was only around noon, and the lunch hour had already ended, so the Ramen stand was fairly empty. The pair walked in and sat down.

"Hey there, what'll you guys have?" Asked the owner of the shop.

"I'll have a pork miso ramen!" Naruto stated, enthusiastically.

"Um. Beef, I guess."

"Ok. They'll be out in a couple minutes."

"So Naruto, what was this Chuunin Exam hat you're training for?"

"It's an exam to achieve the next rank of being a ninja, Chuunin. Right now, I'm only a Genin, a beginner level Ninja. Once I graduate to Chuunin, I can take on harder missions, and lead a squad."

"And what's with the training?"  
"I need to train in order to be strong enough for the final test of the exam. It'll be a tournament style one on one fight."

"Really? Then why are we here eating? We can be out there training, getting you into fighting condition!"  
"Well. I'm hungry. And it's really hard for me to train when I'm hungry."

"Ok then. We eat, then we get you into fighting condition! Sound good?" Dante said with a smile.

"Yeah!" The ramen was served and the two began to eat voraciously. Dante enjoyed the Ramen, but still sorely missed his Pizza. Upon finishing 4 bowls each, they proceeded to walk over to Naruto's personal favorite training ground, Training Area 7. (A/N: Thanks bob!) It was a clearing in he forest that also had three posts in the middle and a small river running on one side. Dante noticed that the posts appeared to be severely beaten, with a lot of holes and slashes on them.

"Well, this is where I train."  
"Ok. So what do you do? What are you training?"  
"I have to train in all my fighting skills. I don't know that much Ninjutsu, only a couple techniques, my Taijutsu is not nearly as good as Sasuke's or Rock Lee's, and I'm no good at Genjutsu."

"I have no idea what you're talking about. What the hell is Genjutsu, Taijutsu, or Ninjutsu?"

"What kind of Ninja are you?!"  
"I'm not a Ninja! And am I supposed to believe that you are?"

"Yeah! I'm Uzumaki Naruto! The next Hokage and Number Ninja in the Hidden Leaf Village!"

"What kind of Village is this that let's little kids running around calling themselves Ninja?"

"This is the Hidden Leaf Village! The most powerful Ninja Village in the world!"

'Holy shit! I'm in a world of Ninja! Awesome!' "Fine! Explain the differences in these three things to me."

"Well. Taijutsu is mostly Hand to Hand combat. I'm ok, but I usually have my Kage Bunshins do the work for me." 'The hell are Kage Bunshins' Dante thought. Naruto continued. "Genjutsu is the use of illusionary techniques. I can't do any Genjutsu, but I'm ok at dispelling weak ones. And Ninjutsu is the use of Chakra for various things. My specialty is the Kage Bunshin, making various clones of myself that can fight." 'Like my Doppelganger, but more than one, apparently.' "Hand to Hand. That's more my style."

"Ok. I can train in Taijutsu with you then." Naruto said, taking his stance.

Dante hopped forom foot to foot, loosening up. He got into his Royal Guard stance and said to Naruto, "Bring it."

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Next chapter! Dante vs. Naruto practice fight! And I do realize my chapters are really short and suck so far, but I haven't been able to sleep right for over a week and lack of sleep is killing my imagination. I will however attempt to update as much as possible, hopefully once every two days at most. And I think I made Dante to forgiving for the lack of Pizza. If you want to send me a way to make him respond a little more in character, that would be awesome.

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w00t! Over 1000 hits! Yay! I'm not sure if that's alot, but over 1000 of anything is awesome! Thank you people!

A/N: Sorry about all the fake updates. I editted a few things, but forgot a few others.


	5. Shadow Clones are Bad News

Chapter 5

Ok people. I want to apologize for the late post. I know that I usually update about 2 times a week, hopefully. However, last week was homecoming week and I was really busy, and the weekend was spent in therapy for my knee. Also, the story will not follow the manga or anime. It will be almost completely original, seeing as how getting Dante into the missions would be damn near impossible without messing with the story anyway. And the characters will be slightly OOC. Hinata will have moments of "Bravery" where she won't stutter as much, but she will still be very shy, Naruto will be a little smarter, as in, he'll pick things up better, Sakura will not obsess over Sasuke so much, and Sasuke won't be so much of an Emo bitch. He still will be an Emo bitch, just not so bad. He'll be friendly and such. They will also be better at adjusting techniques to suit their needs, but not god-like. Example: Naruto, with his better knowledge, will know to actually use reconnaissance to his advantage and adjust the usage of his clone to transform into a bird, and spy on his enemy or something like that. They will still have the same personalities; just some attributes will be changed. The other characters will also slightly change like that. So yeah. Lot's of thought put into this. Onto the fight!

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Disclaimer: Naruto, Devil May Cry, Kamelot, artists, lyrics, words, references to lyrics, artists, words, movies, songs, games, shows, anime, manga, and Afghanistanimation do not belong to me, thought the characters of my creation do in fact belong to me.

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'Does this tree really think he can beat me? Wait. Tree? What the fuck? Where's the kid?' Dante flew forward from a foot to his back. 'How the hell did he move so fast? Does he know the Air Trick?' Dusting himself off, he turned around to see a large group Narutos. "The. Hell. Is. That?"

"Shadow clones! We'll beat you down and into a pulp!"

'Note to self: Shadow clones bad news.' Dante threw himself into the ball of orange, smashing through each and every one of them. Each dissipated after a slight push, tap, or even the lightest punch. 'Note to self: Never mind.' A whistling sound in his ears caused him to duck. In the tree in front of him, there were three throwing stars, right where his head would have been.

"No fair! I don't have any weapons!"

"Sucks for you!" Naruto disappeared in a flash of orange.

'Damn it. How does he move so fast?' A tree branch behind him caused him to turn, right into a fist. A second before connecting, Dante Air Tricked behind Naruto. The blonde was left looking around, trying to find the white haired man. Dante slammed his foot into Naruto's back, sending him in the trees. In Dante's peripheral vision, he saw an orange blur coming right at him. He threw a side kick at him, and ended up with a puff of smoke in his face.

'I've got him now.' Naruto send three clones under the smoke, and each threw a kick into Dante's chin.

"U!" the first shouted, "Zu!" The second followed, "Ma!" the third yelled, "Ki!" The last replied, ending the chain and sending dante into the air. Naruto jumped into the air, directly over Dante, did a front flip, and slammed him foot into Dante's head, shooting him into the ground. "NARUTO RENDAN!" he shouted, ending his combo. Landing about 6 feet away from the crater, he waited for the dust to dissipate.

"That hurt like hell!" a voice came from the hole. Dante burst through the cloud and slammed a foot into Naruto's chin. "My turn!" As soon as Dante's foot connected, he Up Tricked up and over Naruto. He leveled his body so that it was parallel to the ground, and did a 360 in mid-air. Just before fully spinning, he threw his leg out, and slammed it into Naruto's shoulder, sending him into the ground, and dissipating Naruto's clones, who were trying to help the original. Dante landed about 5 feet from the crater. He walked over, and when he looked inside, he saw that Naruto was out cold.

'Damn. I'm tired.' He sat down, only to have Naruto poof into a cloud of smoke. "Ah, Shi…" was all he got out before Naruto had tried to slam his foot into Dante's back. "Gotta learn some new tactics." Dante had grabbed Naruto's foot and threw him into a tree. The tree was surrounded by a sudden puff of smoke as the clone was destroyed. "Shit!"

"Heh. I've got him for real this time." Sending out a clone to his right, and to his left from the trees, he prepared to catch Dante in a pincer attack, while the original stay in the trees behind Dante. He had received the full impact of Dante attack, but used a kawarimi before the dust could settle. 'A little late for a kawarimi, but it made him drop his guard.' Naruto was suffering from a broken ankle and dislocated shoulder, and it looked like his healing didn't work as well for bones as it did for skin and muscle. He watched as the clones attacked Dante.

'I see one from in front. He's not that sloppy.' Just before the second cone could hit Dante, he snapped into his Royal Guard stance, sending off a small wave of energy that shot the clone back in a shower of sparks.

'How did he do that? He doesn't have a weapon, and neither did my clone! He wasn't even facing him!'

Dante came out of the stance, and snapped back just as the clone in front of him tried to punch him. The result was the same for this clone, and he poofed into non-existence. He heard a shuffle from behind him and turned around, just to see the real Naruto jumping from one tree to another. 'He's got a limp. Must've over done it. Nah, he'll be fine.' He leaped after Naruto, and landed in the branch behind him. Naruto turned around and ended up with a punch to his face that sent him out of the trees, over the clearing and skidding across the water, ending up on the other side of the river. Dante chased after him and Air Tricked when he was within range. Naruto was standing up when Dante landed about 2 feet away. He looked Dante in the eye, only to him disappear. Dante had slid the last to feet, and slammed his palm into Naruto's chest, while the impact let off a blinding flash, sending into a tree, snapping it in half, and leaving an indent of his body into the remaining piece of the trunk.

'I knew those two clones would come in handy. I didn't get to fully charge my Rage, but that was enough to mess him up enough.' He felt the fatique of all his technique usage rush over him. It was all he could do to prevent himself from passing out. 'Gotta take him back.' He began to walk over the child while think, 'Damn. Haven't been this tired since the fight with Virgil. I must be outta shape if this kid can tire me out this much.' The sound of glass shattering brought him out of his trance. 'Oh shit. Not now.'

He turned around and saw a large reptilian thing about 8 feet tall, standing 30 feet away. The Demon was standing on two legs, much like a Tyrannosaur. In fact, it looked exacty like, except for the lack of a tail, and it's arms were dragging on the ground. Heavily muscled arms that just like they could crush a man with one finger. And its head was just a skull. It had to horn coming out of the top, and lacked eyes, skin, or anything that signified any life at all. Its eye sockets shone a blood red.

"Fuck." Dante knew he had to fight the thing, but he didn't want to. Looking up, he saw a shine in the sky. He stretched out his arm and Rebellion flew into his hand. "I have no idea how you do that, but I'm not gonna ask." He felt that he might be able to take on the Demon, and prepared as the monster charged him. At the last second, Dante ducked down and to his left, just as the Demon tried to swing his right arm at him. Dante swung his sword and slashed the beast's right leg. The Demon stumbled, but didn't fall. He turned around and charged Dante again. This time, Dante was too slow and received a monstrous fist to his face. Dante was flung back and slammed into a tree. As he got up, he saw a fist headed for his head. He dropped back down as the fist puched through the tree. Dante seized the opportunity and drove his sword into the Demons chest. It stumbled back and spun around, trying to pull the sword out, but it's large arms were to big and couldn't reach. It fell backwards onto its hind end. Dante ran up, and pulled the sword on of the monster before ramming it through the beast's skull and shattering the entire beast like a pane of glass. All that remained of it was the multitude of footprints and holes in the ground that marked its presence.

"That sucked." Dante said, as he place Rebellion into it's place on his back. He began to walk over to Naruto before collapsing. 'Damn it. I gotta bring… The kid… Back…' Was all he could think before everything went black.

**XXxx**XXxx**XXxxXX**xxXX**xxXX**

Dante slowly opened his eyes and heard an EKG machine beeping. 'Damn. Not here. Not again.' He slowly closed his eyes and fell back into a deep slumber.

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Cliffhanger! –ish. I tried to get a cliffhanger. Anyways, that was my first ever fight scene. Let me know how it turned out, and how I can improve it. Thanks for your patience, and thanks for reading! 


	6. Damn They're loud

Chapter 6

From now on my rants will be in my profile page.

(A/N) Finally! An update!

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Dante opened his eyes to see a beautiful nurse sitting at the foot of his bed.

"Oh. You're awake. Welcome back." Dante was enraptured by her Hazel colored eyes, her raven black hair, and her voluptuous breasts. "I'm here to make sure you recover quickly." She said in a seductive manner, as she slowly began to unbutton her blouse. Dante could feel his sergeant begin to stand at attention. Noticing this, she mounted him. Dante could see her panties, wet in anticipation. 'Dear god. Thank you.' He thought. She grabbed hold of his rod and moved her panties to the side. As she began to insert his rod into her, she began to moan. Dante couldn't stand it and grabbing her hips, thrust himself into her.

**XX**XXXXXXXX**XX**XXXXXXXX**XX**

"Son of a bitch!" Dante could feel his head slam into the dirt, his ass up in the air.

"What the hell? Don't drop him!"

"The fucker just humped me! What was I supposed to do? Dammit. Probably having a wet dream. Hah! Not on me, he isn't." Dante opened his eyes to see… dirt. Getting onto his knees, he looked around.

"Hey. The perv wakes up. Aren't you a little old be having those types of dreams?" Dante looked up to see the source of the voice. It came from a boy, who looked to be in his mid-teens.

"Shut up." 'Damn. I'm never gonna live this down.' Dante stood up, much to the surprise of his… captors? Who the hell were these people? "Who are you guys?" Dante asked them.

"We were sent by the Hokage to find you." The larger of the two said. He was carrying Naruto flung over his shoulder. He was also fairly large, about 6'1" and muscular, despite appearing to be only about 16. He wore the vest of a Chuunin and a Hitai-ate that marked him as being from Konoha. He wore a mesh shirt underneath and full pants. He also wore open toed shoes. His entire outfit was dark green/brown in a camouflage pattern.

"Yeah. I have no idea what the Hokage wants to do with people like you, but what he says goes. So. Here we are, picking up your asses, like we're some sort of ferrymen." This one was about 5'11" and fairly muscular as well, although he was more athletic looking than his partner, and looked to be about 15. His muscles were more defined than they were large, as though he was someone who was more suited to acrobatics rather than fighting. His outfit was the same as his partners as well, although instead of a mesh shirt, he wore a camouflage colored, short-sleeved shirt. "And by the way, if I find anything on the back of my vest, you're dead."

"Yeah. yeah. Whatever. So uh, where we headed?"

"Back to the village. Where you should've been yesterday."

'Oh shit. I'm screwed.' Dante began walking along with the two ninja back towards the village. "So, uh, why did he pick you two guys? And where's my sword?"

"What sword? We never saw any sword. and he picked us because our other teammate is in the hospital right now, and we had nothing else to do." said the larger of the two. "I take it your name is Dante? I'm Tokudai Kuma. My friend over there simply goes by Dem."

"Cool. And the orange thing on your shoulder is Naruto." Dante felt obligated to introduce the sleeping teen, seeing as how he had got them into this predicament.

"Yeah, yeah, we know who he is, he's the neighborhood prankster." By this time, the trio had made their way back into the village, with Dante still wondering about where his sword had went. And why the squirt had taken so much outta him. Naruto hadn't come to by the time they got to the office, so they left him at the hospital, believing it to be better for him due to his injuries. When they reached the office, Dem and Kuma stayed outside the doors while Dante went inside to talk to the Hokage.

"I see you made it back in one piece, though a little late."

"Yeah, me and the kid rough housed around a bit." Dante lounged on the chair, his leg over the armrest.

"Maybe, just a bit too rough. but no worries, Naruto is a frequent visitor in the hospital, I'm sure he'll be fine." He eyed the way Dante was sitting with a look of disagreement, but didn't say anything.

"Whatever, so, I take we're gonna have to wait 'til he comes around 'til I can find out if I passed, huh?" He had hoped that he could get his weapons back as soon as possible. He needed a little chat with his canine friend.

"Yes, your right, but in the mean time, I'd like to know how you managed to beat Naruto, being a child means nothing, seeing as how he's been trained to be a fighter for the past 4 years. He's still a ninja and more than able to hold his own with any ordinary person."

"Well, ya see, from where I came from, I was a hired man," Dante felt that he could tell this man the truth, if the not all of it., "Paid to take people out." Technically, they weren't people, but the old man didn't need to know that. "Fighting was nothing foreign to me."

"Sounds like a dangerous life you led."

"Eh. But seeing as how much you guys seem to train, even as children, surely I won't be needed around here."

"Quite the opposite actually, your old lifestyle coincides almost perfectly with how we run things, only on a smaller scale than ours. Should you join, you would be able to join the ranks of our ninja. After you go through the courses and learn everything you have to before hand of course."

"How long would that take?"

"Our ninja must go through 4 years of schooling before being able to graduate and call themselves ninja."

"Damn." Dante thought back to Naruto, and how well he fought. 'No wonder the kid wore me out. He's been fighting almost as long as I have, and he's just a kid. And a ninja to top it off.'

"Our ninja then join a group of 2 other graduates, and one experienced ninja, usually a Jounin. The classes go..."

"I know about the classes," Dante interrupted. "Naruto explained them to me." Dante lied, but he figured he could ask the blond one to explain late. He just wanted to get this over with and get his stuff back.

"Very well. This team is then given jobs that they must do for the village. Anywhere from weeding the farms of local farmers to assassinations of leaders of other countries." 'Sounds Ninja-y' Dante thought to himself. 'Except for the weeding part.' "So, once you become a citizen, you may ether live your life as a regular person," Dante couldn't see himself doing that, "Or you can go through our ninja training and become a ninja and fight for our village."

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"What the hell is taking them so long?"

"Calm down Dem. If the Hokage is taking that much time talking to someone, it's obviously very important."

**XX**XXXXXXXX**XX**XXXXXXXX**XX**

"So where are all the babes around here?" Dante had decided to get back to the Hokage on his decision later on, after figuring out other, more pressing matters, like why the demons were popping up here, where he was gonna live, and how he was gonna live without pizza. He had questioned the Hokage about the second one, keeping the other two to himself to brood over.

"Well, we can stick you in a small bachelor pad for the time being seeing as how you can't live with us forever." The old man had replied. Dante wondered about how he would get the stuff from his shop back. Well, the only things worth bringing back would be his drum-set and his jukebox. And he doubted that a bachelor pad was big enough for a drum-set and the lack of electricity could be a problem for his jukebox. "Then, once you you've made enough money through whatever career you follow, you can buy your own house, or rent an apartment, which ever you prefer." Dante had agreed that this was perhaps the best plan of action for the meantime.

"Well, most women can be found shopping and such."

"I was kidding old man. So, when does Naruto usually wake up?"

**XX**XXXXXXXX**XX**XXXXXXXX**XX**

Naruto was infamous around the hospital. He was always getting himself hurt one way or another, and he never wanted to cooperate with the nurses. He was always trying to leave the hospital despite having yet to be released and most nurses knew that should he go missing, they should either check the cafeteria, or hope he ends up back in his room before he ends up in too much trouble. The particular nurse that was in charge of Naruto this day happened to be a fairly experienced nurse, and knew that when she walked into the room and saw that the bed was empty, that Naruto was up to no good. Breathing slowly, she began to count to ten. Before making it to six though, the mirror on the wall sneezed. Which was odd, seeing as how, first off, mirrors weren't allowed in the hospital, and second, mirrors shouldn't even breathe, let alone sneeze. She pulled her arm back and punched the mirror as hard as she could. Naruto's henge poofed as it was broken, and Naruto fell to the floor, clutching his head in pain. "What the hell happened to the Hippocratic oath!?" Naruto had hoped to sneak behind the nurse and walk out before anyone noticed. His plan, though clever as it was, wasn't very well thought out and he wouldn't have made it halfway down the hall.

Had that been his plan. And it wasn't. The nurse calmly tried to coax Naruto to get back into his bed. Naruto however, had other plans. He bolted out the open door and down the hallway. Six feet from the staircase, one of the older nurse grabbed him. He grinned at her before disappearing in a puff of smoke. "I hate it when he does that." She mumbled to herself. The first nurse noticed that the window was slightly open and a pillow was missing. She figured out what had happened just a moment later. Sighing, she looked at the chair, and seeing his stakc of clothes, thought, 'At least we still have his clothes.' Until they too, poofed and all that was left behind was a piece of paper with a smiley face sticking it's tongue out at her.

**XX**XXXXXXXX**XX**XXXXXXXX**XX**

"Well, usually, he comes to..." Sarutobi was cut off by a pounding on the dorrs followed by a bright orange ball of something flying into the room. Naruto rolled to a stop at the foot of the Hokages desk, on his head with his feet up in the air. Dem and kuma came running in, apologizing for letting the blond get into the room.

"Leave him be, we've been expecting him." The two Chuunin nodded and turned around, leaving and closing the door behind them. "I guess that answers my question." Dante thought aloud to himself. "So, squirt, did I pass the test?"

"Don't call me squirt!" Naruto yelled as he tried in vain to right himself. Dante gave him some help in the shape of a boot to is ass, sending him rolling away from the desk and, lacking grace, back onto his feet, with a noticeable wince on his face. "That hurt."

"It was supposed to. And enough suspense. Did I pass or not?"

"Why should I tell you, you albino looking freak?"

"What did you call me!? I 'll pound your face in, shrimp!"

"I'd like to see you try, you pot smoking misfit!"

"Where the hell did you get the pot smoking from?" Dante was thrown off guard by this particularly random comment.

"Your eyes are red."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"I dunno. I just remember that pot smokers have red eyes."

"That's their whites, not their pupils, dumbass! And my eyes are green!"

"Not from here their not."

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"Damn they're loud."

"At least know we know why they got in a fight."

"Damn right, two stubborn asses in the same room is never a good thing."

"Kinda like you and Hana?"

"Hey, I'm not stubborn!"

"Yeah you are."

"Dammit man, get it through your thick head, I'm not!"

"Nope, you are stubborn as a rock."

"Prove it!"

"I just did."

"Damn your eyes!"

"Too late."

**XX**XXXXXXXX**XX**XXXXXXXX**XX**

The Hokage merely watched in silent amusement as he watched the two at each others throats for several minutes. Finally, after a particularly gruesome threat involving a boot, a shrimp, some duct tape, and the flavor of leather in a persons mouth, he felt it was time to end the fight. Clearing his throat fairly loudly, and in such a manner that it caught the attention of both Dante and Naruto, and a couple pidgeons that had happened to be sitting on the windowsill of the Hokage's office, he began. "Well, Naruto, since I gave you a mission yesterday, and seeing as how you failed to return in time, and refuse to give a report, I'm going to have to fail you in this mission. Better luck next time."

Naruto, in hopes of keeping a failure out of his record book, quickly announced that he believed that Dante was ready to become a citizen. Dante slapped Naruto upside his head for taking so long in making up his mind. The Hokage merely smiled, knowing that Naruto would do anything to keep a good record. "Well, Dante, all you need to do know is fill out some paper work."

"Well, ain't that a laugh? And here I thought I would just be able to waltz right in here."

"Naruto, you can leave now, go keep training." Naruto reluctantly let himself out. "This is still a governed village Dante. Unless you want to walk around as an outlaw, you have to become a full citizen. And that means filling out this paperwork." The Hokage handed Dante folder filled with a stack of papers about 25 pages thick. "And don't forget to read the fine print. Now leave. I have business that needs to be taken care of."

**XX**XXXXXXXX**XX**XXXXXXXX**XX**

Dante left soon thereafter, and saw Naruto not to far from him. Deciding that he should keep the kid company, and maybe get him to help him out with the paperwork, he walked up to him, being no hard feat, seeing as how tall he was compared to the boy. Then it struck him, why didn't he have a limp? "Hey Shorty, what happened to your leg? Wasn't it hurt or something?"

"Don't call me Shorty. And I've always been pretty quick to heal. It was probably just a sprain."

"Huh. Anyway, since I have a ton of paperwork to do, and you need someone to help you train, I figured I'd stick with you for now." 'Oh, how that mighty have fallen. Here I am, hanging around a 13 year old.' Dante kept noticing odd stares from everyone they passed, and most of them were directed at Naruto, but he didn't seem to notice, or, at the very least, seem to care.

"Sure, sure. Just let me find my Sensei, and let him know I'll be training with you. Not that he would care."

**XX**XXXXXXXX**XX**XXXXXXXX**XX**

Dante's eye twitched as he saw who Naruto's teacher was. 'How can a scarecrow be a teacher when he has no brain?'

"Not sure what you can learn from this man, but whatever floats your boat. Sakura and Sasuke will be here with me, should you want to come back." Kakashi had decided that since Sakura lacked just about any ability as a ninja other than genjutsu, she would need to be trained a fair bit more. And after Sasuke's battle with the Leaf nin who could absord chakra, leaving him with very few jutsu to use, other than a basic henge with which to beat him, he would also have to be trained. Naruto however, prefers training alone, feeling that training with Sasuke would hinder him, and Sasuke felt the same about Naruto.

"So, uh, where we gonna train, shrimp?"

"How about the same place as last time?"

"Heh. Sounds like a plan, shortstuff!"

"I'm not short!"

* * *

Yes! Update! Finally! I hope you guys enjoyed it. Next chapter, Naruto's Training!


	7. God is playing with us

Holy shit. Over a year since my last update. Really? REALLY REALLY? Procrastination is my name, but damn that was a long fucking nap. Anyway, thank you to all those who have read my story, added me as an alert, and favorited my story. You have no idea what this means to me. I hope you enjoy this next chapter. I've put a lot of work into it. And thanks to my beta NCR. YAY! I have a beta! Now, onto the story!

* * *

'Holy shit. It's been 15 minutes since we left the old man's, but it feels like it's been 15 months. I think the fucker hit me a little hard on the head last time.' Dante winced as his thoughts floated in his head in an odd fashion, feeling as though he wakened from a year long coma.

"You feel that too?" The blond said to Dante, his hands on his head as his mind swam through his head like jello. "Feels like God is playing with us, huh?"

"Trust me kid, there is no God. I learned that the hard way." Dante mumbled to himself.

"What?" Naruto said, looking questioningly at Dante

"Nothing. Just talking to myself. Anyway, I need to get this paperwork done. Not a citizen yet. Let's go back to the old man's place quick. I need to ask him about something."

"Alright." Turning around, the pair headed towards the tower which housed the Hokage's office. It was uneventful, as walking through a village rarely spawns random battles. Upon reaching the doors of the tower, one of the guards stopped them.

"Do I know you guys?"

Dante replied, "Yeah, we just left here. Now move, we need to talk to the old man."

"Feels like ages ago. Alright, go ahead." The guard said, nodding to both Dante and Naruto as they walked past. After making their way to the Hokage's office, they stopped outside the door in front of Dem and Kuma.

"... beers, beers. Rolling fatties, smoking blunts. Who smokes the blunts? We smoke the blunts! Rolling blunts and smokin'..."

Dante looking at Dem oddly. "Lemme get a nickle bag."

"Fifteen bucks little man. Put that shit, in my hand, and if that money doesn't show, then you owe me, owe me, owe. Jungle love, yeah. Ohee ohee oh. I think I wanna know ya know ya, yeah, what?"

Dante slapped the man before pushing past him and into the Hokage's office.

"Thank you." The large ninja said as Dante walked past. "You stay out here."

"Nani?"

"I got this." Dante said over his shoulder. "Hey old man." He said to the Hokage after closing the door behind him.

"Ah, Dante, we were just talking about you." The Hokage indicated towards a large man with scars along his face and a black bandanna on his head.

"You bald?"

"Quite so." The large man held no surprise that Dante had not recognized him. The Hokage had told him so, but sometimes images can bring back memories one had once forgotten. That apparently had not been the case with this one. He stood up and held his large hand out to the man. "The name is Ibiki. I'm one of the Hokage's advisors."

"In what? Breaking backs? You could crush a man in one hand." Dante winced as he shook the man's hand. "Nice grip too."

"Something of that sort."

"Ibiki here facilitated your move into the hospital. After searching you for contraband of course."

**XX**XXXXXXXX**XX**XXXXXXXX**XX**

"**I'm bored brother.**"

"**I am as well.**"

"**Then be bored silently.**"

"**How about a song?**"

"**Oh god no. I wish Nevan were here.**"

"**I'm over here.**" She sounded harshly muffled. "**I'm on a shelf. Shelf! At least Dante had the decency to hang me up on a wall like a proper guitar should be.**"

"**I know a song!**"

"**At least you don't have to listen to these two.**"

"**I know. Have fun!**"

"**Urgh.**"

"**99 urns of red orbs on the wall...**"

"**OH GOD NO!**"

"**99 urns of red orbs...**"

"**Make them stop!**"

"**Take one down, pass it around...**"

"**ARGH!!!**"

"**98 urns of red orbs on the wall!**"

**XX**XXXXXXXX**XX**XXXXXXXX**XX**

"That's what I'm here about. I know I have to be a citizen before I can have my weapons back, but can I at least take one or two? See, I'm much more proficient with weapons than hand to hand, and if you really want me to tutor Naruto a bit, I'd like at least one back." Dante made eye contact with each as he spoke, trying to establish himself as trustworthy.

"How far along on the paperwork are you?" The Hokage asked him.

"Um... Haven't gotten started." Dante eyed the stack of papers in a folder in his hands.

"You know the saying, procrastination is like masturbation? In the end you're only,"

"Ahem. I, don't think the Hokage needs to finish that sentence, sir..." Ibiki interrupted. "It's not of your stature. Sir." Ibiki's eyes hinted that a more serious tone was in order.

"Lighten up Ibiki. If we must be serious all the time, then surely our jobs shall wear us down, shall they not?" The Hokage said to Ibiki lightheartedly. "Dante!" Dante was still taken aback by the Hokage's language. "You may have one AND I REPEAT ONE, weapon. I trust you not to be stupid about what you choose to do with it."

"Sir, is that really a smart decision?" His eyes spoke loudly enough. He didn't trust Dante to have a weapon after the interrogation incident.

"Think of it as a token of good faith. He seeks to be a citizen, therefore we must give him some trust." His language spoke volumes. We must take a chance to test his allegiance. We need someone of his skills. We must take the risk to win him over. "Dante. I expect those papers on my desk tomorrow morning. The clerks at the welcoming desk downstairs will be more than happy to help you."

"Right. Where are the weapons again?"

"Have Dem and Kuma guide you."

"Alright then. Nice talking to you guys."

"The feeling is mutual." Ibiki said as he stood to shake Dante's hand once more.

"I'd rather keep my hands. Sorry." Dante said over his shoulder as he walked away.

**XX**XXXXXXXX**XX**XXXXXXXX**XX**

"Will you revive, from the chaos in my mind, where we still are bound togerthAIAIAIAIAIAIAYYYRRR?!?!?!?! Will you be there, waiting by the Gates of GoOOOOhh shit." Dem nearly fell backwards as the door he was leaning on opened. "A little warning first?"

"Your singing sounds like two sadomasochistic cats fucking."

"At least you aren't his partner." Kuma said to Dante.

Naruto looked up, taking his hands of his ears. " Is he done?"

"Me or him?" Dante asked.

"Either works."

"Yeah."

"I can't believe you left me out here with them."

"Adult talk. Sorry shrimp."

"Nani!?"

"Anyway. Hokage's orders. You guys take me to get my weapons."

"Alright then. The vault's this way." Dem said as he began walking down the hall. Kuma started after him. Naruto walked up to him and poked his arm. "Is he always singing?"

"You should see him with his girlfriend Hana. She's the other cat in the duet."

"Ew."

**XX**XXXXXXXX**XX**XXXXXXXX**XX**

"1 urn of red orbs on the wall."

"1 urn of red orbs."

"Take one down, pass it around."

"Oh thank god."

"25873192 urns of red orbs on the waaaaaaaaaalllllllll."

"THAT MAKES NO SENSE!!!"

**XX**XXXXXXXX**XX**XXXXXXXX**XX**

"So what are we getting?" Naruto asked Dante after catching up with him.

"A weapon of mine. You wanna train? I'm gonna give you a training you'll never forget."

"Any hint as to what it is?"

"Of course not."

Naruto pouted. "Don't do that, you look childish." Dante said after seeing Naruto.

"What do you care?" Naruto shot back.

"You want my respect? Stop acting childish."

"Why would I want the respect of a freak like you?" Naruto barked back, sneering. Internally though, he did seek his respect. This was a man who was obviously strong, and probably the closest thing he had to a brother. 'Gah. What am I thinking? I've known him less than two days.' But he felt closer to him than any of his teammates. He trained with him, ate the same food, even matched him in eating. He was someone he looked up to, although he refused to admit it, even to himself. Looking up he saw that Dem and Kuma had stopped at a squat building in front of him.

"Alright kiddos, here we are. Don't rush either. We're off the clock in 5 minutes and I wanna get some dinner." Dem said as he opened the bolts keeping the door shut. Dante walked in and looked around until he spotted his rucksack laying about 10 feet away from him, amid piles of other bags and sacks. He opened it and pulled out Cerberus. "We're going for a walk boy."

"Oh thank god you're getting me out of here. Twiddle Dee and Twiddle Dum won't shut up."

"Sure thing. I'll be back for the rest of you tomorrow."

"24913209 urns of red orbs on the wallll...."

"I don't think they care. Be back soon hun!" Dante walked out, leaving the bag open. "Heh. I like your thinking pup." Outside Dem was looking at his watch, counting down the seconds until he was off work. "Does he always do that?" Dante asked Kuma.

"Generally, we both do. We're brawlers. Don't like guard duty too much. But what can you do? Hokage's orders."

"We're off! WOOO!!! Dango time!" Dem yelled as he jogged off towards the general direction of his favorite Dango stand.

"And you?" Naruto asked Kuma.

"I'm gonna go relax." He said, walking off towards a grass hill.

Dante looked at Naruto. Placing Cerberus in his holster on his back, started to walk back towards the Hokage's tower to get the clerks there to help him with the work. He wanted to get them done as soon as possible and it was only 3 in the afternoon. "I'm gonna go finish this paperwork. We can train afterwards. Go do some warm ups or find someone to spar with. I'll meet you at the same spot as last time in 3 hours. Or so." Naruto started to pout then stopped himself. 'I wonder what Lee is up to...' He thought to himself while walking to the Academy to look for him. He had a tendency to hang out in that general vicinity with his mentor, Guy.

**XX**XXXXXXXX**XX**XXXXXXXX**XX**

Kuma reached his favorite spot, the top of the hill, and noticed that Shikamaru was there too. "Taking a break?" He asked the ninja.

"Yep. You?" He asked as Kuma sat down and laid back a couple feet away from him.

"Yep." He sat back up and moved a rock that was poking him in the back. Laying back down he shifted his weight around his back, flattening the grass and checking for more rocks. Satisfied that he was comfortable enough, he propped his left leg up and crossed his right leg across it, his hands on the back of his head. "Beautiful weather today."

"Yep." They both lay there, enjoying the feel of the breeze flow past them, bringing with it the calming rustle of the trees, the sweet smell of damp grass, flowers and apples from an orchard not too far away. The birds were out, and not too far away a pair in a tree were chirping rhythmically. The sunshine was warm on their faces, the grass cool on their backs, the clouds were thick enough to keep the sun from blinding them, but sparse and thin enough to allow more than enough light through. The sky was a light hue of blue, the grass and trees a healthy and bright shade of green, the apples a bright and juicy red, the poofy white clouds seemed like cotton floating in the air. They shifted and moved slowly and methodically, never twice being the same, yet beautiful always. Kuma sighed contently. Shikamaru merely took a deep breath. Kuma clicked open one of his hip pouches and pulled out a cigarette and a Zippo. Lighting it, he pulled out another and offered it to Shikamaru. He took it and the lighter and proceeded to light it. Kuma raised his eyebrow at this. He'd never seen the 15 year old take the offer before.

"My sensei does it all the time. Figured I'd see what's so special about it." He said as he flicked some of the ash off. "Little young aren't you?" Kuma asked as he flicked his. "You offered it. Besides, you're only a a year older than me." "Hrm." Was all the Chuunun said in reply. A few minutes later, they put out their cigarettes and heard a munching sound coming up the hill. "Hey Chouji." Shikamaru said, recognizing the sound of his teammate. "Thought I'd find you up here. Came to relax for a little bit." Kuma slid over a couple feet to make room for the other Genin to sit down. He sat down in between the two of them, a single bag of chips in his hand. Kuma moved the same rock from under his back as before. "Thought you'd bring more with you than that." Shikamaru said to his teammate. "Wanna keep the peace here." Chouji replied. Shikamaru noticed that he also was making less noise as he ate. "Never thought I'd see the day you can respect silence." "I have it in me. Just not a big fan of it." He replied. Kuma chuckled at the exchange, calm and relaxed, glad to be with a couple of people who could enjoy silence and serenity. 'I wonder what Dem's up to...' He wondered.

**XX**XXXXXXXX**XX**XXXXXXXX**XX**

"OOOOOOOH, WHAT IS THE MALTED LIQUOR," Dem vaulted over a fruit cart at full speed, "WHAT GETS US DRUNKER QUICKER," barrel rolled over a group of school children, "WHAT COMES IN BOTTLES OR IN CCCCCAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNSSSSSSS," took a flying angled leap at a brick house, planted his hands and feet on the side, pushed up clearing 8 feet into the air and making it to the edge of the building, planted both hands on it and using momentum, flung himself onto the roof before raising his hands triumphantly into the air, "BEER!!!!!!!" Walking to the edge of the building he looked down at the chaos he had created. The owner of the fruit cart seemed a little peeved, but seeing as how none of his fruit were damaged he was more mad about the man scaring costumers than anything. The school children looked up at him in awe at his feat but the teacher and a group of women were fuming at him for putting them in danger. A couple of girls who saw him were chattering and giggling amongst themselves. 'Oh yeah, still got it.' He gave them a quick wave before dashing off onto the next house, clearing the 8 foot gap and 15 foot drop with ease, rolling at the end to distribute his momentum and allow him to continue running at full speed. 'Where's that Dango shop...?' He always forgot where things were. 'Dango dango dango dango dango HERE I COME!' He sped across the roof tops, jumping at the last second, flew over an empty street and landed a few feet in front of a bright red dango stand. Itamae started a couple plates of dango when he heard the infernal singing a few blocks away, and had them at Dem's favorite spot in the middle of the stand, right next to a kunoichi with a see through mesh shirt who was also eating dango. Dem walked in, sat at his favorite spot, grabbed a stick of Anko and yelled "ANKO!!!" At the top of his lungs. The kunoichi sitting next to him looked at him, and pointing her thumb at her chest, said "Anko?" Dem looked at her, then pointed to his dango, "Anko!" The woman held up her stick of dango and said, "Anko!" Dem pointed at her and asked, "Anko?" She nodded at him, put a thumbs up, and said "Anko!" Dem held his stick up and yelled "Ankoooooo!" And the woman joined him "Ankooo!" They both then voraciously began eating their meal, Anko washing her anko down with sake while Dem washed his anko down with more anko. Itamae had become accustomed to Dem's version of itadakimasu, but never had to sit through so much shouting of the word anko. It was floating around in his head. ' Anko anko anko anko anko... Dammit.' Dem's thought's were the same. 'Anko dango anko dango anko dango dango dango anko anko. DANKO!' Anko finished her plate and paid the man. Walking out she tapped Dem on the shoulder. "Nice meeting you. Same time tomorrow?"

"Sure thing. I'm always up for some dango." He said looking over his shoulder.

"Alright. See ya around." She said walking off twirling a kunai on her finger.

"You dog you." The chef said to Dem.

Dem looked at him oddly. "What? We both like dango. Besides, I have a girlfriend already. She's a little too old for me anyway."

"NANI!?!?!?" 'Ow' Was all Dem thought before his world went black.

**XX**XXXXXXXX**XX**XXXXXXXX**XX**

"Where the hell are the two jumpsuit freaks?" Naruto was growing impatient as he walked around looking the academy. He walked to their training spot and found no one. He walked to the gates, hoping the guards had perhaps seen them racing around the outer wall of the village, but they had seen nothing. Giving up he decided to head to the training spot they agreed on when he remembered that the others were there. 'Better head back to the Hokage's Tower and let Dante know we need somewhere else to train.' Walking towards the Hokage's Tower his head began to swim. 'Whoa... I feel lightheaded.' As Naruto walked down the street, he looked towards a food stand. Inside he saw a turtle with a windmill on his back. 'Why does that seem so familiar?' Walking towards the stand, the turtle looked at him and said, " What'dya starin' at boiah?" Naruto freaked at the sound of the turtle's voice and started walking down the street again, only much faster, and straight legged. The hair on the back of his neck stood on end and he could have sworn he felt someone following him. A block down the street he passed a restaurant and the customers all looked at him. They seemed perfectly normal. Except they all had fish heads. Naruto began to sprint down the street, feeling the grips of panic looming on the edge of his mind. He began to hear chanting. "Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to work we go." Looking to his right, he saw a 40 foot pea plant looming over the city. Behind one of the leaves, a pea pod stretched vertically out of the branch and the tip of it was split open. Marching out of it was an endless supply of midgets with bloody sledgehammers, axes, and baseball bats on their shoulders. Their eyes shone a blood red and their beards all dripped black with pitch and tar that oozed endlessly from their mouths. Walking to the edge of the leaf, rather than fall off, they merely began to walk along it upside down in the exact opposite direction until they reached the base of the pea pod. There a hole the same size as the one they emerged from sat in the branch, only this one was lined with teeth. Each time one entered, the hole slammed shut and blood gushed from between the teeth as another dwarf popped out of the hole in the pod. Naruto was terrified. He starting sprinting down the street, only it was no longer a street; the dirt that lined the path was now grass and the houses and buildings that had ran along the path were now giant mushrooms. The people had turned to caterpillars and cats, and the sky was an ever melding amalgam of shapes and colors ranging from purple trapezoids, blue squares, and at times the whole thing was blobs of random colors that he saw, and felt at the same time.

He burst into the only real building left in the world, The Hokage's Tower.

"Dante! Help! The world! The bugs! The midgets and mushrooms and cats, oh my!" Dante lifted his eyebrow at Naruto. Looking outside he saw everything as it should have been. "You sure you haven't been eating any mushrooms?" Looking outside, Naruto saw that all had returned to normal.

"But... I saw the mushrooms. And the singing midgets. And..." He was cut off by the sound of his growling stomach.

"When's the last time you ate?" Dante asked while eying the blonde's stomach.

"Yesterday. That ramen we had." Dante laughed.

"Well, shit. You need to eat. Come on. Let's go get some grub. I'm done with this paperwork." Dante said as he ruffled the blonde's hair and walked past him. "That ramen place isn't too far away, right?"

Naruto nodded and led him to the stand, all the while keeping look out for anything suspicious and constantly looking over his shoulder for that presence that seemed to be following him still. Upon arriving they both sat down. "I'll have a beef ramen," Dante told the owner, "And a miso with those little fish roll things for the short one." Naruto was so preoccupied looking over his shoulder that he didn't catch Dante's insult. The feeling of being followed had passed. Naruto let his breath out with a sigh.

"Here ya go." The owner said as he set Naruto's bowl down. Naruto looked into it and saw a fish head. He began to panic. "Uh... Dante? It's a fish..." Dante looked up from his bowl, his fork inches from his lips. He hadn't gotten the hang of chopsticks as easily as he had the language.

"And? Take it out if it bothers you. It's just a head. Not like it's alive."

"I guess you have a point," Naruto said dejectedly. He moved to pick out the fish head until he saw it move. 'Am I imagining it? I have to be...' Then the fish winked at him. The blonde went pale and passed out.

"Uh... Naruto?" Dante said to the ninja, barely looking at the ninja, never even taking his elbows off the counter. "You ok?"

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M.P.: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I am done! If you like it, please review. If you don't, then review and tell me why. Or just shoot me a message either way if you don't want to review. Just gimme some feedback people cuz this thing is ALIVE! Oh yeah, give it up for my friend NCR. She hasn't registered here, so she has no pen name, but she's the official beta for this story. YAY!

Beta's message: Hiya! It was quite an honor and a surprise to be asked to be beta for this amazing story, so I must thank M.P. for choosing me! I apologize if I missed any mistakes in spelling or grammar.

- NCR


	8. Girlfriend?

Hey guys. I'm back. And be sure to check out my profile. Lots of info on it. Let's get started.

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After Dante had ensured that the blonde had been properly taken care of, he made his way to the roof of the hospital. After barring the door to ensure that he wouldn't be interrupted, and checking the area to make sure he was alone, he brought Cerberus out from on his back.

"Alright mutt. It's time for those answers you owe me. His place sure as HELL iisn't Earth. So why do they speak Japanese, and how do YOU know it?"

"As I told you before, we must understand the languages of those we conquer."

"And what do you mean by that? This isn't Earth. How can you conquer them when this place has no ties to Hell?"

"As I'm sure you know, Earth and Hell are brother realms. They are, however, only two of three realms. The Celestial Realm, The Neutral Realm, and The Infernal Realm. Hell lies within the Infernal Realm, your universe, and therefore Earth within The Neutral, and Heaven with The Celestial. And the three powers that be inhabit each individually. Creation from Heaven, Life on Earth, and Death in Hell. And the inhabitants of each realm are different. Angels within Heaven, who care nothing about what goes on outside their realm. We, Demons, within Hell, who are tasked with monitering those who die, their souls, and their afterlife. And you humans, who provide us with souls. And it is these souls we crave."

"We, by our nature, are the opposite of the uncaring angels, who seek nothing, and you humans, who know nothing. We seek souls, and the land the souls inhabit. We seek that power, that we lack. Souls. Hence, we seek to conquer the middle realm and gain all the souls, and all the power they provide. Each individual souls provides little power, but by gaining more, we grow ever more powerful. And earth holds a massive amount of souls on it. But it is not the only life on the Middle Real. You see, Earth is not the only place with life in the middle realm. Within your universe, yes, but not on parallel universes."

"Each realm acts differently with universes. Heaven, is distrubited amongst them all, one single universe extending to cover all others. The Neutral realm has an infinite number of universes within it. Earth is within one, this location within another, parallel universe, much like your's. And The Infernal realm has many versions of Hell, each one unique to the population of life within he Neutral Realm. Each culture, each country, each planet, each galaxy has it's own version of Hell, the largest and most powerful being the reigning demons. In Earth, you have Hell, here, the Bijuu and Shinigami, Spira, the Fiends. Each are different."

"Why the Creators chose to make things as they did, is beyond me. What I do understand is that this land is so near your planet, that they have the same influences, and languages. And one trait of our kind, Earth demons, is the ability to understand all languages. And the ability to have all understand us, if we so choose. Now does that answer your question?"

"That works." Dante said while pacing, still trying to process the information."For now anyway."

"And that boy holds a demon within him." Dante stumbled. "One main difference between Earth and here is the dispersion of soul energy. Demons use the souls of the living as our power source. And here, there are few demons. There are the 9 Bajuu, massive beings who hold power beyond what even your father could only dream of, and the Shinigami, who holds the absolute power of death. He rivals the Creator in power. Yet, even with all this power at the hands of demons, only a third of all the soul power available here is being used by them. The rest belong to the humans. The humans here can increase their soul's power exponentially, and meld it with physical power to do things even we demons cannot. And they used this power to seal one of the demons, the most powerful of them all, into that child."

Dante paced the perimeter of the roof, his hand on his chin, deep in thought. "So is that demon why the kid could match me in a fight?"

"No. That was the boy's own power. That was his own soul and physical power, his so called, Chakra. That is how powerful these humans are, that you, the son of Sparda, was nearly beaten by one of the weakest beings here. At least, in skill. The damage however, was a result of the demon. You see, demons radiate an aura. This aura grows with the demons soul power. You hold a massive amount of soul power, and thus radiate a powerful aura. Weaker demons, do not. This aura heals you, and negates damage. However, when more powerful demons do battle, their aura's collide, and negate each other. Damage is not lessened, nor is it heaaled. Hence, you can be impaled by the weakest demon and be left unscathed, yet a match against your brother wears you down to the breaking point. And that battle with the boy did the same thing. The demon within him radiated the aura that weakened you, and you did the same to him."

Dante sat down. "And how do you know all this?"

"I believe that knowledge is power. And I have been here before. I have witnessed the sealing of the demon within that child by the two most powerful humans here."

Dante felt furious. Two people had sealed a demon into Naruto. "Who did it?" Dante wanted to kill those people for placing such a burden on an innocent child.

"I do not know. All I know is it was a man and his wife. The most powerful in the world of body, and the most powerful of heart. They gave their lives to the Shinigami in a pact to seal the demon. They could not destroy it."

"Dammit..." Dante was furious that he couldn't exact his revenge. All he could do was help the boy. And he wasn't good at picked up Cerberus and walked back into the hospital. 'First things first. Gotta become a citizen.' "Save the world, fight my brother, help out a demon child. Jesus, I never get a break."

**XX**XXXXXXXX**XX**XXXXXXXX**XX**

In a corner of the rooftop, a shadow stirs. A black cloaked figure stands, then leaps away, unseen.

**XX**XXXXXXXX**XX**XXXXXXXX**XX**

Hinata was returning from the snack cart in one of the hallways in the hospital, snack breads in tow, back to the room that Kiba and Shino occupied. Kiba had injured his ankle during training, and so they came to have it looked at and taped up, but when the two boys, sans sensei, started talking tactics, Hinata took it upon herself to go fetch some snacks to hold them over until they could go get lunch. While passing by a room, she heard a nurse speaking forcefully to a patient. Something about not trying to escape. Out of curiousity, Hinata stopped near the door as the nurse walked out. As the door closed, she managed to catch a glimpse of shock blond hair. Her heart stopped for an instant, and she gasped, wondering if who was she saw was who she thought she saw. Peeking into the doorway, she saw Naruto sitting in his bed. Her face grew hot upon finding out the boy of her dreams really was in the room.

Catching the movement of the door out of the corner of his eye, Naruto looked at the doorway only to find himself being stared at by a pair of pale-blue eyes framed by a pale, lavender-white face. "Hinata!" he yelled out loud. "Get in here!"

Hinata winced at having been found out, her face growing redder as she stepped into the room, closing the door behind her. '_I'm all alone... With Naruto-kun_...' was the only thing running through her head as she closed the distance between herself and the blonde boy. He slipped out of the bed when she drew near. "Think you can do me a favor...?" he asked gingerly.

Hinata gave a quick, forceful nod followed by a "ha-hai."

"Do you think you can..."he stopped mid-sentence, as he pondered what they were going to do. "Hold on a minute. Turn around," he quickly stammered, as he began to pul;l his shirt off. Hinata complied, he face turning beet-red as all sorts of thoughts improper of a clan heiress to think flowed through her mind. A small, thin trail of blood began to flow form her nose. "Alright," he said after a minute, "Here's what we're gonna do..."

**XX**XXXXXXXX**XX**XXXXXXXX**XX**

Dante walked out of the front door of the hospital and crossed the street to the ramen stand. He had every intention on getting some food while he waited for Naruto to be released from the hospital. He was preparing to order when he noticed a young, raven haired girl slurping down ramen at an astonishing rate in the seat next to his. Thinking this image to be absurd, he wasn't sure why he hadn't noticed it upon first entering the stand. "Damn girl, I've only seen Naruto eat that fast before." The girl visibly tensed up at the mention of the name, and Dante caught onto this, and decided to press on. "Maybe you know him. Probably went to school together. He's this blond pipsqueak. High-pitched voice. Kind of annoying. Has an atrocious taste in food. Kind of the same taste you have, now that I think of it..."

The vein on the girl's forehead nearly burst upon hearing the man rail on ramen, and whirled towards him, "You can insult me all you want, but you WON'T bash the food of the gods!" Her eyes sudddenly flew wide open, and the was barely able to squeak out a meager "eep" as the man's finger slammed into her forehead, which disappeared into a cloud of smoke, leaving Naruto sitting in her place.

"You know, for a ninja, you suck at being stealthy. Ever heard of subtlety?"

"Why don't you show me sometime since you seem to know all about the ninja way," Naruto sarcastically replied.

"Can't. Not my SOP. I just plow through whatever gets in my way." Dante said, turning his attention back to the menu. "And what's with the disquise you picked? Someone you know? A friend? A girlfriend?"

"Yeah, something like that."

Dante looked at the boy with one eyebrow raised. "You have a girlfriend?"

"Naruto quickly shook his head in reply. "No, I meant a friend." Eyebrow raised in doubt, Dante returned his attention to the menu, yet again. "We were classmates. And she's kind of weird..." Naruto continued. "In fact, she's really nice. Really quiet, she whispers a lot. And she never looks right at you. And she taps her fingers a lot while staring at the ground like it's interesting or something." He paused for a second. "But she's real smart. And nice too. She'll help whoever needs it. She's a good person. I like her, even if she is a little weird."

"Sound like you're in love." Dante teased.

"No! It's nothing like that. She's just a really good person."

'_Hey, maybe there's hope for this kid after all_.' Dante thought. '_Just gotta hook him up with this chick, and we can get some love goin'. Get him to be a man for once._' "Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say kid," Dante replied, "hey, since you love ramen so much, which of these do you recommend...?"


	9. Let's try again

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor do I own Devil May Cry. These stories are not sold for profit, and I receive nothing for writing them.

* * *

As Dante arrived at the training area, he had a thought. "Hey shortstuff. When's this exam supposed to happen anyways?"

"You mean the fight? In about three weeks." Naruto didn't even flinch at the insult.

"You have any idea who you're gonna be fighting?"

"Yeah. A guy named Rock Lee. He's really strong. Fast too. He's good at Taijutsu. Hand to hand kind of stuff. He could have beaten us both senseless last time we fought, that's how good he is."

"How's a guy like that still your rank?" Dante asked, stopping in the middle of the clearing.

"Well, he's my age, and he only can do Taijutsu. Either he hasn't learned any other abilities, or he doesn't know them. I don't know, but all he has is his physical strength and speed."

"Just how strong is he?"

"Well, he broke a statue once."

"I've done that. He can't be THAT strong" Dante had forgotten just how strong he is compared to a normal human.

"Yeah, but this one was a couple hundred feet tall. And he did it so fast, we never saw him actually move."

"... Yeah, that's impressive." Dante thought for a moment. "Ok, so far we've just been fighting and calling it training. And all it got us was a trip to the hospital. We actually have to come up with some stuff here." Dante paced around for a bit.

"What do you have in mind?" Naruto asked quizzically.

"Well, my fighting style pretty much comes down to this. Hit them, then hit them again, then hit them harder, and then just keep hitting them until they stop moving." Naruto nodded, his style being essentially the same thing. "But I have come up with a few Styles of fighting. I have a couple focusing on weapons, one focusing on speed, and one focusing on defense." Dante didn't bring up his Doppelganger or Quicksilver styles, since he knew, as a demon, only he could use the latter, and Naruto had him beat in the former. "It'll take more than a few weeks to get you even a competent level with weapons, so we won't even both with those, but we CAN begin with my Trickster and Royal Guard styles."

"... You have odd taste in names."

"Hey, don't diss my Style. Anyways, you have me beat in outright speed, but I can teach you the tactics I use in Trickster. Give you a better way to use your speed. And the Royal Guard should leave you pretty much invincible since it's a perfect defense, IF you can pull it off. You've seen me use a couple of my techniques already."

"I saw how you blocked my shadow clones without a weapon. I'm guessing that's part of the guard style? But I don't remember any speedy moves you made." Naruto sat down on a nearby rock. "How'd you do that anyways? The guard I mean. I saw sparks, but there was no metal to make it."

"**Remember the Soul power these people use. Their chakra is the same as your demonic energy. Use that word**." Cerberus said while Dante paced pensively, acting as though thinking of what to say while listening to the demon.

"Well, it's hard to explain. I guess the best way to put it is that I just released a bunch of chakra," he felt odd using the word, "outwards at where he was gonna hit, just before his fist made impact. It completely blocked him, and threw him off guard. The sparks are probably from the chakra being pushed around his fist." Dante felt odd using a third person word to describe the person he was talking to as well as the clone. They were essentially the same person. "And as for the Trickster, I, for lack of a better word, teleported behind a couple of your shadow clones. I call that Air Tricking."

"I remember you doing those. That would be handy to have. And to be able to manipulate your chakra like that... You must be pretty skilled. Even if you still have no taste in names."

Dante just shrugged at the blonde's insult "That's a big word, kiddo. And I've had a lot of practice. It's mostly second nature to me. Just comes down to reflexes."

"So when can we start?" Naruto had become inured to the older man's insults.

"Right now, if you want." Dante stood a couple feet back, so Naruto could get off his rock and get into a suitable position. He did so and took a stance. "Alright, here's what you do..." Dante walked Naruto through the steps and they did a couple slow practice runs of how Dante would punch Naruto, so he knew exactly where the blow would come from. After a couple minutes, Dante said, "I think you got it. Let's give it a test run."

"Wait, what? You didn't teach me much."

"There's not much to it. I punch you, you blast the chakra at my fist to stop it."

"If you say so..." Naruto said reluctantly. He got back into his position, and readied himself. Dante wound back, and... Reached behind his back and pulled out Cerberus. "Whoa, you're not hitting me with that, are you?"

"I wish." Dante said as he laid Cerberus on the ground. "Get ready." Dante wound up, and let off a strong jab at Naruto's face. He was startled as his fist went flying back, and the force spun him half around. Turning to the blonde, Dante began to say something when he saw Naruto lying a few feet away, struggling to get up. "You ok there shrimp?"

"I'm not a shrimp," Naruto snapped, getting up. Rubbing his cheeks, he asked, "What the hell was that?"

"Well, I guess there is more to it. You let off too much. You're trying to break the laws of physics. Right now, you're just forcing the chakra out to stop my fist. But by doing that, you're pushing the force of my fist, through the chakra, and into your face. You're whole face instead of just one part of it. You need to only focus on one area of your face."

"So then what's the whole point of this if I'm still getting hit?" Naruto asked.

"YOU'RE not. The chakra is. You can't use the it as a buffer to slow down, or stop it. You're forcing it out, and having it push back on you. You need to force it out, then have it act as a wall, to stop my punch, without getting close to you. Then use the energy from the punch, and have the chakra redirect it back to the fist."

"So what you're saying is, I'm just making my face bigger right now. And I need to make a shield in front of me."

"Basically, yeah. But it only lasts for an instant. You can't make a permanent field around you, because that takes too makes concentration and energy to hold. It's just a small shield, the size of whatever's going to hit you, far enough away to be safe, but close enough that you have enough control over it to make sure it stops the attack."

"That takes a lot of control. I don't know if I could do that..." Naruto said, aware of how little chakra control he had. "I'm good at using a lot of it, but not a little bit to do what I want."

"And you think I'm any better at finesse? This isn't brain surgery. All it takes is practice. Come on, let's keep trying."

"Right." Naruto nodded, before returning to his stance.

**XX**XXXX**XX**XXXX**XX**

'I'm wearing Naruto-kun's shirt...' Hinata though to herself. She knew it was only a henge, but it smelled exactly as she though his shirt would. She lay, curled up under the covers of Naruto hospital bed, her hands bunching up the shirt under her nose as she gently breathed in the scent of the young blonde. 'How long am I supposed to stay again...?' she absent mindedly thought. Ever since she'd been called into the room, she'd lost all track of time, focusing on her promise to Naruto.

She was harshly driven out of her revelry when the door opened fiercely and a large nurse walked in. Slamming the door behind her, she called out, "Ok Naruto. Time to take your temperature. Since you're so insistent on biting on the thermometers, this one is going in the other way. So I need you to stand up, turn around, drop your shorts and put your hands on the bed for me.

All Hinata could do was turn pale and pass out.

**XX**XXXX**XX**XXXX**XX**

"I think that's enough for today." Dante said, as he sat down on a rock a few hours after they'd started trainng. "You're making a lot of progress, but you don't really have it down..."

"Gomen," Naruto said as he smiled and scratched the back of his head. "I just don't get how you can be so precise with how you mold your chakra."

"That's because he has a lot of practice in doing it without any hand seals. I'm guessing... self taught?" The two looked towards the creek, and saw an old man walk out from behind the trees with a fishing pole in his hand. His headband seemed to be made of stone, and his long white hair extended down to his legs.

"Who are you?" Dante said.

"Don't mind me, just an old man out fishing. I heard you guys while I was out looking for a good fishing spot. I have some... Experience with the ninja arts. Maybe I can be of some help?"

Dante nodded, while Naruto scratched his chin in thought. "Wait! I know who you are!" Dante was startled by the boy's outburst. "You're that pervert! Shouldn't you be at a hot spring, peeping on women?" Naruto pointed at the old man accusingly.

"Hey, a man's gotta have a hobby, right? I'm guessing you're the prankster, Naruto, right? And you are...?" The old man gestured towards the man on the rock.

"Dante." He said as he stood up. "And you are?"

The old man dropped his pole, and spun around dramtically. "The Great Sage!" He hopped on one foot to the side, before slamming his other in the ground and assumed a position much like a ssumo wrestler's. "But you can call me..." He threw a peace sign at the two. "Jiraiya!"

Naruto looked at Dante. "And I thought YOU were overdramatic."

"Hey a guy's gotta make a dynamic entrance. And how about that help? I can show you a couple hand seals that might help. I think Hare to bring out the chakra quickly, Ox to stop their attack, and Dragon to force it back might work." Naruto ran through the signs quickly. "But timing will be extremely important. Internally, your body will keep the chakra molded so you can execute the technique. Externally though, you'll need to mold it just as you need it. Hare as their attacks is getting close, Ox to stop it where you need it, and Dragon immediately afterwards to turn it back onto them. But if start too late, you won't be able to get out enough chakra to stop them with Ox, or you'll stop them too close to yourself and be blown back. Do it too early and the chakra will dissipate too much to be molded with Ox effectively."

"So this is even harder." Naruto complained.

"Timing wise, yes. But that's it. You won't have to worry about molding it as much, so you only have to focus on getting your timing down pat. In the long run, it's much easier and effective. So let's give it a try." Dante sat back down as the other two got into position. "Ready?" Jiraiya asked.

"Hai." The instant the words left Naruto's mouth, he was sent flying into the trees in the other side of the clearing.

"That's for ratting me out last week you little brat!" Jiraiya shouted. Dante just smiled. "Now get back over here and let's try it for real this time." Naruto looked angry as he walked out of the forest.

"Not my fault you're a pervert..." he said to himself.

**XX**XXXX**XX**XXXX**XX**

"Hey Kuma." Dem said as he laid in a hospital bed. The larger boy looked up from his book. "You ever get the feeling someone forgot about you?

"You mean like Hana?"

"No, like someone important..."

"Hana isn't important?"

"Dammit man, you know what I mean."

**XX**XXXX**XX**XXXX**XX**

The sun was beginning to set, and Naruto laid on his back on the ground, exhausted. He hadn't been able to master the timing needed to pull of the Guard, but he could slow down and occasionally stop the attack. It wasn't perfect, but it was a start, and much better than just being blown across the clearing as he'd been doing with Dante. "Nice work today," Jiraiya said. "You guys can continue tomorrow. It's getting late."

Naruto slowly got to his feet as Dante walked over from rock he was sitting on. "Come on kid, let's get some food. My treat."

"Sweet!" Naruto exclaimed as he ran off towards the ramen shop. Dante began to follow when a hand clasped him on his shoulder, stopping him.

"Hey kid. The Hokage's told me who you are, and he trusts you. But I don't. I don't know who you are, or where you came from. And you know some high level abilities. A perfect guard through chakra? Flash stepping? You're a very dangerous man. So where are you from? Who are you loyal to?"

Dante turned towards the older man, surprised by his shift from a laid back tone to a very serious one. "Just like I told the Hokage, I'm not loyal to anyone. Technically, you guys, since you picked me up and took care of me. But I'm not from around here. And you wouldn't believe me if I told you from where."

"Hrmph. Pretty secretive, huh? You know I can't trust you for that."

"Everyone has their secrets. Even that kid."

"What do you mean?" The old man asked accusingly.

"The demon." Dante replied honestly. Jiraiya's eyes narrowed.

"You know it's punishable by death to speak of that kids secret, right? And you're an outsider, how would you know?" Dante was surprised. He didn't know.

"No. And I was told by someone who was at the sealing." Dante hoped his answer would satisfy the old man's paranoia, knowing that only someone high level, or present at the event would be able to speak of the incident without punishment.

"Hrmph." Luckily, he had thought correctly, and the old man's fear was put to rest. At least a little. "And you won't tell me who, right?"

"Punishable by death, remember?" Dante replied mockingly.

"Cocky son of a bitch." Jiraiya laughed. "But remember, I've got my eye on you. Don't do anything you might regret. I'm not a man to be trifled with."

"I can tell."

"Good, now let's go get some food. I'll treat this time." Jiraiya raise his hand to stop Dante's protest. "I know you said you would, but consider it a token of my trust." Dante only replied, and the two walked off in the direction of the ramen shop.

* * *

Hey guys, I'm back. I had every intention on just dropping this story, but after seeing all the reviews and how many people still read and enjoy it, I have to keep writing it.

Also, a thank you to my new beta. She's awesome. Give her some love for making sure this story stays awesome.


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